Rules of Engagement
Yesterday I was 2500 words into a blog post about holiday advertisements and somehow found myself writing about Elon, Vivek, and DOGE. I had to stop myself. Like, whyyyyyyy am I even writing about them? I think they suck. You might think they suck. Lots of things suck right now. What else is new? Am I gonna keep dunking my head in the Trump toilet for four entire years?
NAY
NEGATIVE
NADA
FUGGEDABOUTIT
Literally two days ago I wrote a mission statement re: what I’m trying to accomplish with my creative work (see the bottom of this post). As I was midway through griping about the swamp monsters (again), I realized I was out of alignment with this mission. Un-nichefying (this should be a word if it’s not already) my website to create a personal blog with the freedom to write about whatever I want feels fantastic! But also, there are plenty of people writing about politics. The only purpose my writing about it serves is venting and putting more ick out into the universe. I’m on an ANTI ICK mission here! Sure, my lens might be slightly different, but there are plenty of other things I’d rather be writing about. I can write about politics well, but I don’t have to, so I’m mostly not gonna.
ANYWAY
I stopped writing about the swamp monsters and put my computer away and decided to spend the afternoon crocheting instead of writing. While I was crocheting I had this voice in the back of my head telling me I don’t have time to be sitting around playing with yarn. This has been my constant refrain for the last couple of months – I don’t have time I don’t have time I don’t have time. Why do I feel this way? I don’t know! This is an intentionally unbusy period in my life and yet the more I cut out the less time I feel I have.
I used to have a consistent morning routine, which I abandoned when the school year started because my mornings became more hectic. I used to sit with my planner, do a one-card tarot reading, journal, make a bit of art, and read some brain food. A few days a week I’d go for a run. Importantly, I’d do those things before I even thought about opening up my phone to check social media or the news.
Once I abandoned my morning routine, allllll of the bad habits returned. I’d read news while making coffee and start writing before I finished my first cup. I’d check socials while brushing my teeth. Running? Pfffffft. Who has time for exercise?
I realized that the problem has never been a lack of time, but rather a lack of focus. So, once again, I dusted off the Rules of Engagement index cards sitting untouched on my art desk. They needed an update, and also needed to live somewhere I could refer to them all of the time — not just at my art desk — so I made space for them in my bujo.
(As I was painting the border, that “OMG I just seriously don’t have time to be painting silly little flowers” voice appeared. I told the bitch to go away because what the hell else do I have to do today? Cleaning the bathroom? Grocery shopping? Finishing the laundry? Sheesh! I have all the freaking time in the world to be painting silly little flowers.)
My handwriting is cursed, so here they are in easier-to-read form:
- I will create before I consume.
- I will slow down because I have time.
- I will not work to exhaustion.
- I will decide what is enough for me.
- I will remain focused on my process, not the outcome.
- I will follow my interests.
- I will withhold judgment of my work.
- I will not take criticism from anyone whose advice I would not seek.
- I will look for what’s working.
- I will not outsource my definition of success to others.
- I will not assign meaning to neutral events.
- I will slow down and consider whether something I’m about to do is coming from a place of fear or strength.
- I will remember that 99% of the things I worry about resolve themselves without my intervention.
- I will remember how important it is to get centered before interacting with the world EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.
This next one is more important than all of the others:
I get the only vote in my creative process because I was not put on this planet to make other people happy or comfortable with my choices.
The reason this one is so important is because we have a tendency to let other people’s voices rattle around in our heads too much. Unless you have a clear view of your mission and some guardrails, it’s easy to be pulled in one direction or the other.
When I built my new blog and started this newsletter a couple of months ago, I intentionally left things open to see what kinds of things I was drawn to writing about. Now that I’m consistently writing, I better understand what I’m trying to accomplish:
I’m on a mission to make the internet human again. When Big Tech sold us the lie that the personal blog was dead (so they could more efficiently monetize us), they flattened the meaning of community and turned us all into walking piggybanks. This has resulted in a less curious, less empathetic world where we rarely slow down long enough to remember that we are humans, not avatars.
The only way to have an algorithm-free community, one where we are not force-fed ragebait and drama, is to move away from social media and relearn how to connect with each other online and offline.
I’m here to build this for myself, and also to help you relearn how to build pockets of peace around yourself by digging into:
How to move away from social media.
Relearning how to start/maintain a personal blog and a webring (it’s 2005 again baby!).
Thought Seeds and other public art projects to reconnect with your community.
Zine making! For fun, political activism, and as a record of this moment in time.
Art journaling as a form of self-care and reconnection with yourself.
Sharing my story and encouraging you to share yours!
NOTE: nowhere in the above is writing about politics 🤣 We need some politics-free zones, and while some of my work is political, it’s also better served without my discussing politics head-on.
If you also feel yourself being pulled this way and that by waves hands everything around us these days, you might find it helpful to create some rules of engagement and a mission statement for yourself. Feel free to swipe any that resonate and/or create new ones (bonus points if you share them!).