Crochet Pattern

April 11 2025

Hugamonsters!

Wise Lasagna Crochet Pattern crochet, hugamonsters, pattern 0

In the summer of 2017 my middle kiddo, then a teenager, was going through his first and worst heartbreak. My heart was breaking right alongside his. There was nothing I could do to change what he was going through or make it easier. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want hugs, he didn’t even want a pint of Ben & Jerry’s (my go-to for bad times).

So I sat down on the sofa with some yarn and just randomly crocheted a weird shape while watching Stampycat feed cake to his cats with my youngest for a few hours and…

The very first Hugamonster was born!

I don’t know if this Hugamonster actually made my son feel better, but it did make him smile for a few minutes and it also made me feel less helpless.

I decided to crochet another one and write the pattern so other people could make these weird little monsters too. It was published as a free pattern with permission for anyone to make and sell finished Hugamonsters themselves if they’d like.

The pattern went viral.

I didn’t fully realize what that meant until I started getting the most amazing emails!

A teacher made a Hugamonster for each student in her kindergarten classroom for a holiday gift.
A bus driver’s mother crocheted Hugamonsters for all of the kiddos on the bus.
People have crocheted boxes of Hugamonsters and dropped them off at police stations, shelters, and hospitals to comfort kiddos who are having scary times.
Someone who was struggling with a loss crocheted one for a friend who was having a hard time, and crocheting a cute monster made her feel a little better too.

I still get emails and comments like this seven years later, and every time I do I end up crying my eyes out because it makes me so happy that something I created spreads joy.

People have made Hugamonsters in all shapes and sizes, furry ones, sparkly ones, Hugamonsters with accessories…there are thousands of Hugamonsters in the world! It’s so much fun to see a new one pop up!

I’m in the process of sunsetting my old website but believe that Hugamonsters are needed now more than ever. So, I’m reposting the pattern here.

Hugamonsters are a quick and easy amigurumi – a perfect emergency crochet project for someone who needs a hug ASAP.

Hugamonster

Hugamonsters are crocheted in continuous rounds from the top of their head down. The body is all one piece. The only sewing you’ll have to do is embroidering a mouth and attaching the bottoms of the feet. It’s a confident beginner level pattern, but I took some photos to help you through the one tricky part (the arms).

Be sure to stuff your Hugamonster firmly if it’s going to get played with! 🙂

Supplies You’ll Need

Red Heart Super Saver Stripes – I used Parrot Stripe and Favorite Stripe for my Hugamonsters. This yarn is pretty hard to find all these years later, so when I see it I grab as much as a I can. The colors are AHHHHHmazing!
OR any worsted-weight self-striping yarn will work.
OR any yarn weight with the appropriate sized hook for amigurumi will work, this pattern works with whatever you have.
If self-striping yarn isn’t your cuppa, you could also make a stripy Hugamonster using whatever scraps you have on hand.
Size E Crochet Hook
Safety eyes in your favorite size – I used 12 mm — or felt to sew eyes on if you’re making this for a little one (safety first!)
Bit of black embroidery floss
Small bit of cardboard

Hugamonster Body/Arms/Legs

Don’t let the number of rows scare you! This is basically all one piece, you’ll just be breaking and joining yarn three times – once for the second leg and twice for the arms.

Before you start hooking, check out photos below which show how to make the arms and legs. =)

Make a magic loop
sc 6 into magic loop (6)
inc around (12)
sc 1, inc around (18)
sc 2, inc around (24)
sc 3, inc around (30)
sc 4, inc around (36)
sc 5, inc around (42)
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc 6, inc around (48)
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc 7, inc around (54)
sc around
If you haven’t done so already, pull the magic loop closed tightly, weave in end, and trim the yarn.
Here’s where you split the row into sections for arm, body, and arm: sk 12 sts, sc 15, sk 12 sts, sc 15 (30) *see photo below
Continue working in rounds for the body section (middle) sc around (30)
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
Insert your safety eyes if you’re using them.
Insert stuffing into head and body.
Now we’re going to split this row into two legs: sc 12, sk 15 sts, insert hook into st after the 15 skipped st, sc 3 (15)
sc around (15)
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
Break yarn, weave in end.
For the second leg, leaving a long tail for sewing, sl st yarn to the back of 2 leg opening and sc 15 around
Use the beginning tail to sew up any gap between the legs, weave in the end, and trim yarn end.
sc around (15)
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
sc around
Break yarn, weave in end.
Now you’re going to work on the arms. Leaving a long tail for sewing, sl st yarn to the back of an arm opening and sc 12 around
Use the beginning tail to sew up any gap between the arm and body, weave in the end, and trim yarn end.
sc around for 20 rows (12) *stuff the arms as you go
sc 2, dec around
dec around
Break yarn, weave in end.
Repeat instructions 58 through 63 for the second arm.
Insert stuffing into legs.

Bottom of Feet (make 2)

Make a magic loop.
sc 6 into magic loop
inc around (12)
sc 2, inc around (16)
Break yarn, leave long tail for sewing.

Assembly

On the cardboard, draw to circles by tracing a quarter, and then cut them out. You will use these to stabilize the bottom of Hugamonster’s feet so they stay flat. Tuck the cardboard circles in before you stitch the feet bottoms on.
Sew bottoms of feet onto Hugamonster.
Embroider mouth or whatever details you’d like.
Enjoy your Hugamonster!

Notes

There are lots of ways you can modify Hugamonster to make it yours! You could make it taller or shorter by modifying the torso or legs. You could make the arms longer and not stuff them so they’re extra floppy. You could crochet embellishments or sew on beads or hair.

You could even bust out that fun fur from 2008 that’s buried under your yarn stash somewhere. 😉

I’ve made LOTS of Hugamonsters over the years and they live all over the world! There are a few in the UK, one in Ireland, many scattered throughout the United States, and even one in Australia (!!!). Here are some more Hugamonsters.

April 5 2025

Trump Toilet Paper Cover {a free crochet pattern}

Wise Lasagna Crochet Pattern america, crochet, enshittification, politics 0

After Trump went away in 2020, I felt the kind thing to do was take all of my Trump patterns down from my website – I don’t like to punch down on losers.

HERE WE FUCKING ARE AGAIN JFC

But when I saw Michael Moore’s rapidly expanding gallery of very excellent Trump Portraits, it was the nudge I needed to republish the old crochet patterns from my Trump is a Numpty collection. I may even resurrect Tiny Trump.

Back in 2017, after being offended by Trump’s comments about Mexicans during his campaign, Antonio Battaglia, a Mexican lawyer and entrepreneur, brainstormed ways he could make a difference, and decided to get into the toilet paper business “to make profits to support migrants and deportees.” Initially, he planned to allocate 30% of the profits to relief organizations in Guanajuato.

No word on whether his Trump toilet paper will be available in the U.S., but because capitalism is gonna capitalize, there are many copycats which have been a bigly success. My dad LOVED his!

Ordinarily, I believe crochet does not belong in the bathroom. But, when I saw the photo of Trump toilet paper, playing with that idea was a golden opportunity I couldn’t just flush down the drain.

Besides, there is nowhere in the house more appropriate for the president who thinks he’s king than sitting on the throne.

I intentionally designed this Trump toilet paper cover without arms so he can’t tweet from your toilet. And I didn’t bother giving him ears because he doesn’t listen anyway. That’s what microwaves are for.

Trump Toilet Paper Cover

Supplies Needed

A sense of humor
Worsted weight yarn in Trump orange, yellow, cream, and pink
Small bit of white and black felt
Tacky glue
Two 12 mm safety eyes
Wire snips
Sizes G and I crochet hooks
Trump toilet paper or similar

Pattern Notes

Toilet paper rolls are different sizes, so you may need to adjust the circumference of the top circle and/or the height of the cover. Best to have a roll handy while you’re crocheting to test the sizing.

This pattern uses US crochet terms and is fine for an adventurous beginner. The crocheting is straightforward, but you’ll need some solid stitching skills to make up his face.

Trump Head

With I hook and orange yarn, make a magic loop.

sc 6 into magic loop
inc around (12)
{sc 1, inc} around (18)
{sc 2, inc} around (24)
{sc 3, inc} around (30)
{sc 4, inc} around (36)
{sc 5, inc} around (42)
{sc 6, inc} around (48)
{sc 7, inc} around (54)
{sc 8, inc} around (60)
{sc 9, inc} around (66)
in back loops only, hdc around (66)
hdc around
hdc around
{sc 9, dec} around (60)
hdc around
hdc around
hdc around
hdc around
hdc around
hdc around
hdc around
hdc around
break yarn, weave in ends.

Trump Hair

You will make three separate hair pieces, all of which are worked flat.

Piece 1

With yellow yarn and I hook, make a magic ring.

sc 4 into magic ring, pull ring closed, ch 1, turn (4)
sc 2 into each stitch across, ch 1, turn (8)
{sc, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (12)
{sc 2, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (16)
{sc 3, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (20)
{sc 4, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (24)
{sc 5, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (28)
{sc 6, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (32)
{sc 7, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (36)
{sc 8, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (40)
{sc 9, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (44)
{sc 10, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (48)
ch 1, sc evenly down flat side of semicircle (approximately 28 sts), ch 1, turn
{sc 5, dec} across, sc any remaining sts
break yarn, leaving long tail for sewing

Piece 2

With yellow yarn and I hook, make a magic ring.

sc 4 into magic ring, pull ring closed, ch 1, turn (4)
sc 2 into each stitch across, ch 1, turn (8)
{sc, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (12)
{sc 2, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (16)
{sc 3, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (20)
{sc 4, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (24)
{sc 5, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (28)
{sc 6, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (32)
{sc 7, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (36)
{sc 8, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (40)
{sc 9, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (44)
{sc 10, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (48)
break yarn, leaving long tail for sewing

Piece 3

With yellow yarn and I hook, make a magic ring.

sc 4 into magic ring, pull ring closed, ch 1, turn (4)
sc 2 into each stitch across, ch 1, turn (8)
{sc, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (12)
{sc 2, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (16)
{sc 3, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (20)
{sc 4, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (24)
{sc 5, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (28)
{sc 6, inc} to end, ch 1, turn (32)
ch 1, sc evenly down flat side of semicircle (approx. 25 sts)
break yarn, leaving long tail for sewing

Eyes

Make two.

With cream yarn and G hook:

ch 6
in 2^nd chain from hook, sc, hdc, dc, hdc, sc
continuing down other side of beginning chain, sc, hdc, dc, hdc, sc
break yarn, leaving long tail for sewing
insert safety eyes in center of each piece and, using wire snips, cut stems flush with backing.

I said flush. Heh.

Eyebrows

Make two.

With yellow yarn and G hook:

ch 6
hdc 3, sc1, sl st
break yarn, leaving long tail for sewing

Nose

Make one.

ch 5
sc 3, hdc, ch 1, turn
hdc, sc 2, sl st
break yarn, leaving long tail for sewing

NOTE: instructions for the mouth are below.

Assembly

Whew! We’re getting there!

I promise this isn’t as complicated as it’s going to sound. If any of the instructions are unclear or you get stuck, please please please feel free to drop a comment or shoot me an email (wiselasagna@protonmail.com).

Sew on the eyes first by stitching around the edges. Then sew horizontally across the top and bottom of the safety eyes to make his eyes appear squinty, like so:

Next, sew on the nose by stitching around the edges.
Now sew on the eyebrows by stitching around the edges. You can make your Trump angry by having the inner corners point downward toward his nose. Or, you can give him a confused expression by sewing them slanted in different directions. Play around with placement before sewing them on, it’s fun!
Time to sew on Trump’s hair. First place Piece 2 on his head about here:

I only sewed down the straight edge of the semicircle because I wanted his hair to stay somewhat poseable. Feel free to stitch around all edges of his hair if you prefer.
Next, place Piece 1 over Piece 2 like so, and sew down the straight edge of the semicircle:

Lastly, place the straight edge of Piece 3 against the straight edge of Piece 1, and stitch those two edges together. It will look like a part in Trump’s hair when you’re done.

Stitch on some sideburns with yellow yarn. I held the yarn doubled and went over each horizontal row twice. I didn’t bother covering the back of his head with yellow yarn, but you could if you wanted his head to be more lifelike.

Time for the mouth. First cut two thin trapezoids from white felt (for his teeth), and then place them on some black felt and cut around them. Glue the white felt pieces to the black felt.
With pink yarn and G hook, ch enough stitches to form lips around the felt teeth. Join the chain and then sc each stitch around. Break yarn and either weave in ends or leave a long tail if you’ll be sewing.
Glue the teeth to the head, and then glue the lips around the teeth. This part is a little fiddly. It helps if you use a pin or two to shape the mouth and teeth as you’d like them to be.
After the glue on the lips is mostly dry, you may wish to stitch the lips to the head around the bottom row of the lips.

Enjoy your Trump toilet paper cover!

The good thing about this project is that while faces can be pretty complicated to craft with yarn, Trump’s face is so ridiculous it’s hard to mess up. Seriously, there is no way you can get this wrong. And even if you do, it will only add to his character.

Sometimes while I’m working on projects like this, little questions bubble up to the surface like Donald Trump’s bathtub farts:

Has Donald Trump ever purchased toilet paper?
Has Donald Trump ever replaced an empty roll of toilet paper, or has he just made his wives sad?
Does he even share a bathroom with his wife?
I mean I know they don’t now but have they ever?
Or do they just have a different bathroom for each day of the week, so that the smell of rancid tweets is long gone from his by the time he rotates back to say, the Monday bathroom?
Does Donald Trump know where the extra toilet paper is in the White House?
Does Trump like the toilet paper to roll over the top of the roll or does he prefer it to go under the roll and pull up? He’s probably one of those people who does it wrong.
Is he aware of Trump toilet paper and, if so, how does he feel about it?
Does he yell at his housekeeping staff if they don’t fold the edges of his toilet paper into origami animals after each potty break?

I worry about these things. If you ever have an opportunity to ask Donald Trump these questions please do and then report back. Inquiring minds want to know.

There are the other projects in this series which I’ll be sharing soon:

Tiny Trump
Trump Muffin
President Prick

I am concerned if I keep going with this my house will be taken over in crochet Trump. But at least when we get to the point where we are all required to have Trump shrines in our home, I’ll be prepared.

If this Trump toilet paper cover made you laugh, I’d be thrilled if you pinned this on Pinterest and/or shared!

Sidenote: If you want actual Trump toilet paper to place inside of your Trump toilet paper cover, check this out! It may chafe your ass (so lifelike!), but it’s entertaining!